Review - Silent Night, Deadly Night

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT (1984)
The plot: A kid watches a robber dressed as Santa kill his mom and dad, gets beat up by a nun in an orphanage, becomes a toy store Santa, goes nuts, impales Linnea Quigley on deer antlers. Based on the Charles Dickens classic.
The poop: This is one troublesome pup, let me tell you. I'm of two minds on this film, really. On one hand, as a parent, my copy of SNDN goes on one of the tippity-top shelves, far away from little hands. So I easily understand the apocalyptic backlash SNDN provoked upon its original release, and I'm actually sympathetic toward those who stood out in the cold to picket and protest it's release.

But on the other hand, this is a textbook, pitch-perfect example of an exploitation film, right down to the ad campaign, which is what triggered the protests in the first place. You have the exploitable hook (killer Santa), button-pushing transgressions  (cops shooting multiple Santa's, abusive nun,  killer Santa giving a very special present to a good little girl, etc.) and nudity (hi Linnea Quigley!). From an exploitation movie standpoint, there is very little SNDN doesn't have.

And that ad campaign! It really was quite genius, in an exploitation sort of way. Show the TV-ads for maybe a week, clearly showcasing the maniac Santa, during family-friendly prime-time, and let the outraged parents of America give you an extra couple weeks of free advertising due to news coverage of the pickets and protests. And to think this came out of a major studio, Tri-Star (owned by Columbia Pictures, then owned by Coca-Cola). Of course, the Coca-Cola shareholders didn't go along and pulled the picture from release.

All well and good, you say, but how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln? Well, SNDN is pretty dreadful from a quality standpoint, even from an exploitation movie standpoint. Most of the acting is distractingly bad. The direction is haphazard and lazy. The sets are cheap, including the rattiest excuse for a toy store I've ever seen outside of a flea market. The Christmas songs (all recorded especially for this movie -none of that crappy public domain junk) are bizarre at best, headache-inducing at worst. And whenever legitimately transgressive subject matter is introduced, it's rendered null and void by everything I've just listed, and probably more.

So, needless to say, I'm vastly and consistently entertained by SNDN. It's a train-wreck, yes indeed, but it's such a stupid and consistently goofy train-wreck that it's impossible to take seriously. The incompetence on display makes even the most offensive moments seem silly. I can't explain it and I won't apologize for it, but I have a serious sweet-tooth for junk like this.
Deal-breakers: Yeah, I don't think I really need to spell it out for you any more than I already have.

The up-side: Ditto.
Makes a great double-bill with: Booze.

Other stuff: Everyone relax, I don't plan on even telling my daughter this film exists, much less letting her watch it before she's twenty-five.