Review - Who Slew Auntie Roo?

WHO SLEW AUNTIE ROO? (1971)
The plot: Kindly widow kidnaps an orphan girl who reminds her of her dead daughter, while the girl's brother tries to rescue her and steal the widow's jewels. From the director of Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell. Merry Christmas!
The poop: Here's another buried gem from the vaults of American International Pictures. From the opening moments, where Shelley Winters holds the mummified remains of her daughter in an immaculately maintained playroom, you know you're in for twisted nonsense of the first order.

All you really need to know is that Winters plays Auntie Roo, a rich widow who yearly hosts Christmas for local orphans. One of  the new orphans, Katy, reminds Roo of her dead daughter, and Roo decides to keep Katy, who she locks in the playroom from the opening. Katy's big brother, Christopher, sneaks back to rescue her and maybe pinch some jewelry from Auntie Roo, as a nest-egg for himself and his sister. Then it gets weird.

But it's a low-key weird, aside from Shelley Winters, who ham-bones the hell out of this thing. The motif is "Hansel and Gretel," and the movie plays it up one side and down the other. I'll keep spoilers out of it, but once you watch it, see if you can figure out if Christopher; A) is a vicious little bastard, or B) he actually believes the story he feeds Katy.
Deal-breakers: Not really any likable characters. I'd say the orphan girl, Katy, comes the closest, but she really isn't terribly bright.

I suppose some could accuse the movie of being a bit slow, but that's the name of the game in the "crazy old lady" sub-genre, to which this firmly belongs.
The up-side: Does any movie, set on Christmas, that features a little mummified girl need any further up-sides?
Makes a great double-bill with: Any of the "crazy old lady" movies that were made in the wake of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. I'd go for Lady in a Cage or Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte, or even Dear Dead Delilah if you want to slum it up a bit. Or maybe pair it off with The Other for a "boys are jerks" double-feature.

Other stuff: I caught this, along with The Other, on Nite Owl Theatre's Double-Chiller Friday, and was probably about five or six years too young to see either one of them. Oh well. Shit happens.

Review - Silent Night, Deadly Night

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT (1984)
The plot: A kid watches a robber dressed as Santa kill his mom and dad, gets beat up by a nun in an orphanage, becomes a toy store Santa, goes nuts, impales Linnea Quigley on deer antlers. Based on the Charles Dickens classic.
The poop: This is one troublesome pup, let me tell you. I'm of two minds on this film, really. On one hand, as a parent, my copy of SNDN goes on one of the tippity-top shelves, far away from little hands. So I easily understand the apocalyptic backlash SNDN provoked upon its original release, and I'm actually sympathetic toward those who stood out in the cold to picket and protest it's release.

But on the other hand, this is a textbook, pitch-perfect example of an exploitation film, right down to the ad campaign, which is what triggered the protests in the first place. You have the exploitable hook (killer Santa), button-pushing transgressions  (cops shooting multiple Santa's, abusive nun,  killer Santa giving a very special present to a good little girl, etc.) and nudity (hi Linnea Quigley!). From an exploitation movie standpoint, there is very little SNDN doesn't have.

And that ad campaign! It really was quite genius, in an exploitation sort of way. Show the TV-ads for maybe a week, clearly showcasing the maniac Santa, during family-friendly prime-time, and let the outraged parents of America give you an extra couple weeks of free advertising due to news coverage of the pickets and protests. And to think this came out of a major studio, Tri-Star (owned by Columbia Pictures, then owned by Coca-Cola). Of course, the Coca-Cola shareholders didn't go along and pulled the picture from release.

All well and good, you say, but how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln? Well, SNDN is pretty dreadful from a quality standpoint, even from an exploitation movie standpoint. Most of the acting is distractingly bad. The direction is haphazard and lazy. The sets are cheap, including the rattiest excuse for a toy store I've ever seen outside of a flea market. The Christmas songs (all recorded especially for this movie -none of that crappy public domain junk) are bizarre at best, headache-inducing at worst. And whenever legitimately transgressive subject matter is introduced, it's rendered null and void by everything I've just listed, and probably more.

So, needless to say, I'm vastly and consistently entertained by SNDN. It's a train-wreck, yes indeed, but it's such a stupid and consistently goofy train-wreck that it's impossible to take seriously. The incompetence on display makes even the most offensive moments seem silly. I can't explain it and I won't apologize for it, but I have a serious sweet-tooth for junk like this.
Deal-breakers: Yeah, I don't think I really need to spell it out for you any more than I already have.

The up-side: Ditto.
Makes a great double-bill with: Booze.

Other stuff: Everyone relax, I don't plan on even telling my daughter this film exists, much less letting her watch it before she's twenty-five.

Update

My laptop died, but I have a temporary PC to use until such time as I can get another laptop.

I've decided to back-burner the killer mummy script. Coming off three horror scripts in a row, I was getting dangerously close to burning out on the genre. I've decided to go back to comedy, or in this case comedy-drama. More details to follow.

I'll have a review up later today, with another one or two up before Christmas.

And that's about it for right now.